The Person You Are Still Getting to Know

You may have imagined certain things before becoming a father.

Teaching a child the game you loved. Taking them to your favorite place. Watching them discover something you could share for the rest of your lives.

Then the child in front of you begins becoming themselves.

They do not enjoy what you expected. They need more time in a situation you find easy. Something you barely notice matters deeply to them.

You love them.

But you can still catch yourself comparing the person they are with the picture you carried.

It may happen quietly.

You push a little harder. Offer advice before understanding the question. Keep returning to an interest they have already told you is yours, not theirs.

There is nothing wrong with hoping to share what you love.

The difficulty comes when your hopes leave too little room to know your child.

Hannah’s gratitude is followed by an act of dedication. She returns with Samuel and entrusts him to the Lord’s service, keeping the promise she made in her distress. Her story is particular. Her vow is not a parenting instruction every family must reproduce. But her gratitude does not end with receiving what she asked for. It leads to entrusting him to God.

For a father, that raises a searching question:

Can I care faithfully for my child without making their life an extension of my own?

You have a responsibility to teach, protect, correct, and guide. Making room for their individuality does not mean leaving them without direction.

It does mean learning to tell the difference between a matter of faithfulness and a matter of preference.

Between something harmful and something unfamiliar.

Between guidance they need and an ambition you need them to fulfill.

That distinction can require patience.

Ask why they enjoy something. Let them finish explaining. Notice what makes them anxious, what holds their attention, and what they return to without being prompted.

You do not have to understand everything immediately to be interested.

And when you pray, leave room for more than the future you have pictured.

Pray for their faith, their character, their friendships. Pray for wisdom about the help they need now. Ask God to expose the places where pride or fear has become tangled in your plans for them.

Gratitude can become more specific as you come to know them.

Not only, “Thank You that I am a father.”

But, “Thank You for this child, the person I am still learning to understand.”